Date: Oct 30, 2007 8:55 PM
Subject: hello old friend
Body:
dear andrea,

you suck.

love, ziti

p.s. congrats on the baby, and HOW THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN DOING?!?!?!

Date: Dec 11, 2007 3:20 PM
Subject:
Re:hello old friend
Body:
Dearest Mr. Vucci
I can’t tell you how pleased I was to hear from you, but I am afraid I must correct you as to a matter of misinformation contained in your previous correspondence dated 10-30-07. In that letter, you had stated that I “suck.” This is plainly a misstatement of fact as numerous documented reports and eyewitness accounts will support, I am, in fact, AWESOME!
In April of 2007 there was a double blind study conducted at The University of California, Berkeley in which it was found overwhelmingly that, not only was I awesome (see above) but that I had charted so high on the Awesome Scale/Rad Index that the current equipment used to measure such things was deemed inadequate, being wholly unable even to handle the extent of my particular degree of awesome and thereby ceremoniously refusing to assist in any further testing. The machinery was quoted as saying “My work is completed; My life’s mission, fulfilled”
If you are interested in more information, visit your local library where you will find exhaustive volumes compiled on the subject of my awesomeness, both as a phenomenon and as a utopian model for future civilizations.
We thank you for your attention in this matter.
Andrea
p.s. — check out the little fella:

…….and here are some pictures: (sorry, there a little “me” heavy. my sister’s the one standing on the grass.)

long clothed in the mortal coil,
waiting - pensive, fevered - for the familiar flash of the warm, warm LAN light like a green beacon in the fast falling november night. and night upon night upon endless, icy night until the days no longer exist and every distant whisper of tread to asphalt must be, has to be the at&t repair van. my life bisected into failed four hour increments of missed meetings and collapsed connections: 8-noon, noon-4, 4-8. weary. poised at the very edge of limbo. my fingers, like claws, numb; wringing the tattered ethernet cable desperate for the taste of
just
one
tiny
little
byte.
its funny how much time i had spent on the planet reasonably happy, all things considered, prior to the invention of the world wide web, doubly so when one compares that length of time with how long after my DSL’s subsequent disconnection that i began clawing at the phone jack and holding my modem up to the light moaning incoherent lamentations and — i’m not ashamed to say — obscenities.
and thus began the dark days.
and it rained and it shined but i felt not joy.
but O holy of holies
brilliant
respendant majesty
O black hole of white light
O knower of things
O waster of time
O alumum and plastic relic
aide and receive me ye angels in to your series of worldwide, publicly accessible of interconnected computer networks.

in the short hours that i have been reconnected, here are some examples of how i have obliterated a fuckload of precious seconds of my life:
learning about Scopolamine and lobotomies
being introduced to the master of GIFs, apparently,
checking out this weird video my next door neighbor worked on
uploading a bunch of photos
and checking out boobs and books