so i brought this new toothpaste. its made of cloves and Cinnamon. its like brushing your teeth with Christmas.

the ghosttown 2 played a show on saturday at the stork club. one of those 2 are me. (the other one is some other guy.) i thought my heart was going to explode, but explode slightly less than last time. so on the whole, it went really well.
how come none of you guys knew about it? well, playing in front of people i know makes me really, really nervous. (almost as much as people i don’t know.) and so i never tell anyone.
but don’t be sad. i’ve arranged and entry that makes it seem exactly like we’re hanging out together, except without all the tiresome small talk…..and, of course, the smell.
so here i am in artist-conception-form rendered in crayola colored pencil.

isn’t it like i’m sitting there in your own living room?!
this was sketched for me at the APE by a guy who draws a comic called “slags.” (no website) A really nicely drawn, well spoken comic that is irretrievably raunchy.
if that’s not enough erratum-action for you then here is me in video-trola form.

this was also recorded at the ape by a nice guy who does a blog. i’m way, way on the very end so feel free to skip past all those merely talented mortals in the beginning.

Found a pogo stick on the side of the road. turns out its all “po’” and absolutely no “go.”

( if that’s not enough )

holy smokes, guys! (i’ve always wanted to say that. did it sound natural? now i just need to cross “crimmey gee!” off my list and i can die happy.) so its official. there’s no use in hiding it. i am an obscenely famous comic god. as we speak, i have a swelling reading audience of quite literally TENS of people! (which is to say that my readership is growing not that they are….puffy.) right now, REAL HUMAN BEINGS are putting “new anthems” to such awesome and fantastic uses as cage liner and teaching aid for underprivileged youth (warning them of the dangers of wasting the precious lives of themselves and others drawing stuff.)
once this sugar high wears off and i stop speaking in run-on sentences. (….and everybody was sooo nice i met so many great people and there was all this cool stuff and everybody was so talented that it made you want rip your eyeballs out and there was this boy who hunted me down all over the convention just so i could sign his book ♥ and, and, and……..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
i’ve already began plotting and planing for APE 2007. highly complex and detailed schemes mostly involving advanced guerrilla tactics and pyrotechnics. or how’s this strike you: FREE KITTEN WITH EVERY PURCHASE!
but for now i can finally relax and take care of all the things that i’ve neglected for the last month getting ready for this thing. little things like “personal hygiene” and “laundry”. (you’d be amazed how much easier it is to find your socks when they stand up and walk over to you. they’re much better conversationalists, too.) plus, there’s something growing in the sink that has recently demanded heath benefits and cost of living raise. (and i wouldn’t be worried if it weren’t for the sense of civil unrest that i get from the trash can. “what’s that smell” “its the pesants….they’re revolting!” wocka wocka wocka)
oh, thanks to all my pals who came by to visit me. there’s nothing better than exploiting your friendships for a cool three bucks! and to everybody who couldn’t make it, don’t be offended if i pretend not to know you if i see you or if i….i don’t know….”accidently” and repeatedly punch you in the kidneys or something. its just my way of showing love.

attention people of the internet: i have a favor to ask you. i’ve got a booth at the ape comic con saturday and sunday (11am-7pm). not only should you come and visit me @ table 532, but you should probally…um…pretend i’m extraordinarily famous. i’m not talking writhing and convulsing on the floor or anything. all i’m asking for is just a little drool and maybe a high-pitched squeal or two. just enough of a commotion so that any passersby will begin to wonder “who’s this girl that people keep vowing to name their first born child after? why do so many strangers want a lock of her hair? does it hurt when they fall at her feet and claw at her ankles like that? maybe i should check her book out…..” if you do, i’ll give you a free comic. two if i have to have security escort you out!

p.s. — it is the alternative press expo so there will be a bare minimum of people dressed as Vulcans.

really, what else are you going to do on a monday night besides go home, watch scrambled soft-core porn on that channel you don’t get, heat up a turkey pot pie, and cry about how pathetic your life is?

only this monday YOU have a CHOICE!
you can go see me @ an art show at a bar. that’s right: just head on down to the golden bull @ 412 41th st in downtown Oakland and there will be art and music and people who love you. (those people will most likely be drunk, though.)

That is, of course, if you live in the Bay Area. if not, you’re gunna wanna let that pot pie cool off a little before you bite into it (don’t wanna burn your tongue)and try very hard not to kill yourself.